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Do tell" she replied anxiously waiting to hear what I was about to tell her.I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt lost in my own bed. My body was shaking nervously. My palms had begun to sweat. From head to toe I felt chilled. Was I really going to admit this to her...this complete stranger? Underneath the nervousness and chills, I liked this feeling. My body desired more of this excitement but I knew if I told her this, things would change the second I let it out. "I actually have had a fantasy of Tyler before." I said and then I fell silent waiting for her to speak."Oh wow, are you being serious" she asked me.Instantly I knew I shouldn't have told her and immediately regretted the decision. I knew I couldn't take it back and pretend I was joking. I did however try to play it off by explaining it was because of my depression from the separation."Tiffany, you wouldn't be the first woman to have sexual thoughts about her own son. Lots of mothers that are in your position go. Childless, he and his wife had been married 30 years. Their relationship was predictable and their life had, until fairly recently, been stable.His wife was the more social of the two. Jim, on the other hand, was a more reflective person: a man who most women would die to have"at least woman who had been in relationships with losers. He earned a good living as a community college professor. Having taught for 32 years, he was considering retirement.He thought about his wife. The conversation he'd overheard perplexed him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was involved in a long-term affair. From the context of the conversation, it was apparent that the affair was sexual.He recalled that it was about 18 months ago that his wife began to pull away from him. She moved to a separate bedroom, ostensibly because he snored. Then, slowly, she began to shy away from sex: first by lying passively as he poked and prodded; and later, by locking her door at night to keep him away.
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